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    Pigs In My Kitchen! And I’m Not Talkin’ In The Freezer

    I have been reading blog posts about how other gals hate it when their husbands go out of town.  And I can honestly say, none of them had to deal with this: Sorry about the quality of the photo. Yes those are pigs. And yes.  That is my kitchen floor. (was my kitchen floor-we remodeled) And those blue things…slippers. It never fails.  When he leaves, there is a disaster. We used to raise registered Hampshire Show Pigs.  At any given time we might have over a hundred pigs.  That is a lot of bacon in the freezer, uh, pigs in the barn.  It was a fun hobby.  But, when my husband was away,…

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    Holy Moley. A Story About A Mole, A Bra, And A Saw.

    So I had a little mole.  It became a big mole. And we all know, moles like that should be checked. One evening, getting ready for bed, I jerked my bra off.  Did not take it off lady-like.  I jerked it off. Well, the strap jerked off most of my new mole.  Gross.  I know.  Sorry. I had been putting off getting this mole checked, cuz my dermatologist is four hours away in Denver.  (I have had a few run-ins with basil cell carcenoma, so, I have a special doctor for these things.) At this point, with mole hanging off my shoulder, I knew I had to finish the job. …

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    Did Your Mother Ever Say This?

    In honor of Mother’s Day, I have a list of short one-liners that spoke volumes when my mother said them. You kids remember…I have eyes in the back of my head.  I know what you did, cuz a little birdy told me.  Where’s my switch?  ( it was a willow tree switch-ouch)  Don’t make me come in there.  Just wait till your dad comes home.  Wait till you have kid’s of your own, then you’ll get “it”.  What goes around, comes around.  You made your bed, now lay in it.  ( found myself there many times)  One of these days, you’ll thank me.  You are my child.  Always.  Forever.

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    Backseat Driver Fix

    We have all been there.  In the driver’s seat, when someone else feels it’s necessary to “help” you drive. Here is the perfect fix. Yep.  Earplugs.  Works like a charm. On this particular day, we took a family drive out to the country.  Yes, we already live in the country, but we went waaaayyyy out.  We all know that farm kids learn to drive a little earlier in life than what the law suggests-hey, it’s a necessity. Memaw and Pop, this picture is for you. This driver is not allowed to use the earplugs.  He has to follow the backseat driver’s instructions.  Bummer. Wranglers tells him to keep the speed…