So I had a little mole. It became a big mole.
And we all know, moles like that should be checked.
One evening, getting ready for bed, I jerked my bra off. Did not take it off lady-like. I jerked it off.
Well, the strap jerked off most of my new mole. Gross. I know. Sorry.
I had been putting off getting this mole checked, cuz my dermatologist is four hours away in Denver. (I have had a few run-ins with basil cell carcenoma, so, I have a special doctor for these things.)
At this point, with mole hanging off my shoulder, I knew I had to finish the job. But I really wanted a professional to do it. I am a wuss. Besides, if I had Wranglers take it off for me, how would I get it tested for the bad stuff?
Wranglers strategically placed a Sponge Bob Square Pants band aid over the sight. You know, to protect his favorite t-shirt I sleep in.
Next morning I called our little country clinic and explained I had a mole hanging off my shoulder, and while it may not be an emergency, I needed to see the doctor pronto. Cuz my bra was rubbing on it. That’s an emergency. Right?
They were quite nice and found a spot for me that day.
When I was ushered back to a room, I felt immediate panic. On the counter was a big round saw, ( the kind of saw in my husbands shop) needle nose pliers, and a big hook thingy. The only things missing were a roll of duct tape and bailing wire.
In comes the doctor and a nurse. The nurse is his wife. I told you it’s a small country clinic.
Me- “hey Doc. I know I said there was a big mole hanging off my shoulder, but I think that Black and Decker Saw, might be a little over-kill.” Doc-“oh that. I had to cut a cast off a kid’s arm today.”
eeeeekkkk. ” I hope the cast was the only thing you cut off.”
I thought that was pretty funny. He. Did. Not. I hate it when that happens.
Nurse Rose, his wife was busy looking for needles, and knives, and stuff. After a quick look he informed that a shot would probably would hurt worse than just taking it off. But she was bringing out all the scary stuff. I think she wanted to hurt me.
I felt a little tug. And it was done. Major surgery and no shots or stitches. Or blood.
Just like Wranglers, he covered the area with a band aid. A Mickey Mouse band aid.
The moral of the story: Alwalys, always, remove your bra with care. And lady-like. And ALWAYS get moles checked.