Country Life,  Uncategorized

That One Time I Caught A Thief

We have had a thief stalking our ranch.  Things have come up missing.  Precious things.  Things close to my heart.  To say the least, it’s become quite upsetting.

I’ve been sleeping with one eye open.  And a finger on the trigger.

I’ll tell you what’s come up missing………………………………………………………………

TOMATOES!!  MY GARDEN TOMATOES!!  MY PRECIOUS, BEAUTIFUL, TOMATOES!!

See why this has been such an upsetting experience?  We have nurtured, and watered, and nurtured, and watered, and nurtured, and…..well, you get the picture.

We started noticing, when a tomato was just about ripe for the picking, it would be gone, the very next morning.

Then, we started noticing tomatoes just lying on the ground.  Both ripe, and green.

Saturday morning, I was outside, in my jammies, drinking coffee and simply enjoying the moment.

When, all of a sudden I heard a rustling in the garden.  I wasn’t sure whether to run and get the gun, or get the camera.  Just kidding.  (sort of)

Obviously, I chose the camera.

The rustling noise turned into a different noise.  A chomping noise.  A “lick your chops” noise.

Look!  Just behind those beautiful green tomatoes!  Do you see that horrible beast?  THAT’S THE TOMATO THIEF!

I know who that is!  I would recognize those feet paws and ears, anywhere.

“COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS PAWS UP.”

 “I MEAN IT!  DROP THE GOODS, AND GET OUT WHERE I CAN SEE YOU!”





“Uh….mom?  Is that you?”  Oh, boy, oh boy…am I in big, BIG trouble.








“Hi, mom.  I love you mom.  It’s me.  Baxter.  Your favorite ranch dog.  I’m the one who loves you the most.  I’m the one who doesn’t jump on you.  See, I was just walking past the garden, and I saw a snake….no, it was a frog…uh, maybe it was a grasshopper.  No wait…it was a rabbit.  Ya, it was a rabbit.  And he was in your garden, and…uh….he was…uh….eating your tomatoes…and….have I told you how much I love you?”



Just look at him, licking his chops.  He has no shame.  Don’t let those eyes fool ya.

 Then, in a blink of an eye…he was gone.

 Not really….Baxter doesn’t do anything in the blink of an eye.  But he did make his way over to a low spot in the fence and hurled his short self over.

Bottoms up!

                                                                              THE END!





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